Exactly a year ago, we found out that we were having a baby and let me tell one thing: it was an absolute shock to the system.
I had just lost my grandad 5 days ago and did think that this was the simple explanation for me not having my period. I didn't think for a second that I could be pregnant. We weren't trying for a baby and most of all, I was on the pill. But when I was feeling sick three mornings in a row and my mum jokingly told me not to make her a grandmother yet, I started worrying. My mum had fallen pregnant with me when she was on the pill. What if her fade was now mine?
I started to search for pregnancy symptoms on Google and man, did they convince me: Feeling sick? - Tick! Tender breasts? - Tick! Constantly feeling tired? - Tick! A strange taste in my mouth? - Tick! A period that had gone missing somewhere? Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick! I couldn't believe it and told Ben what my mum had said and what Dr. Google was suggesting but instead of having a panic attack, he simply said: "Well, let's buy a test when we put in my prescription tomorrow and then we'll see". By the morning, I had convinced myself that I was pregnant. I had downloaded a baby app for my phone and was looking at the different development stages MY baby would go through before I finally managed to get to sleep. Suddenly, this all felt very real. I was sure we were going to be parents UNTIL I went into the pharmacy and actually bought the test.
I was sure that I had built my hopes up just to be disappointed. So on our way home I kept saying "I'm sure I'm not pregnant", "I'm sure I'm not pregnant" and didn't stop, until I carefully weed into a glass and dunked the test strip into it. It said "Pregnant 3+" before I could even say the word pregnant and oh my god did that emotional roller coaster hit me quickly. I had no idea what I was feeling: I was happy, I was nervous and I started crying when I came down the stairs to show Ben that we were going to be parents. Would I be a good mum? Could we afford a child? What would my parents say?
A year on, I couldn't imagine life without Amy. She's the best thing that could have happened to us and we love her more than words can describe. She is such a happy little baby and I am so incredibly proud of her. She has changed our lives over night and I am still overwhelmed by the feeling of unconditional love that overcomes me when I look at her and she gives me the biggest smile in the world - even when it's at 4.30 am.
I love you my little Piglet ♥
