On Sunday we were invited for a BBQ with Ben's family. We were sitting in the garden and having fun with the water hose until food was served and drama took its course.
Ben's oldest niece didn't want to eat any of the grilled meat, while her step-dad insisted she had some. With her being almost 13 years old and her step-dad only wanting her to get the nutrients she needs, you can imagine it all ended in a big discussion, tears and a teenager refusing to eat anything at all.
Well, this whole situation got me thinking about whether as a parent you should force your teenager to eat meat or let them decide themselves, knowing that they might miss out on iron and other nutrients important for their development. I could sympathize with both sides. As a teenager you go through phases of wanting to try different things. I remember that a lot of my friends at school went through a meat-free time. Some because they suddenly didn't like meat anymore, others because they didn't agree with animals getting killed just for us to have something on our plates and some just because they wanted to test themselves. I didn't belong to any of these groups. I have always liked my meat and knew that I couldn't live without certain meats such as chicken or my beloved sausages so I didn't even try it - I hate failing!
Anyway, one of my friends went vegetarian for a couple of months and got serious problems with her bones due to an insufficiency of a specific nutrient that you can find in meat. She was weak, tired and all the supplements her GP prescribed didn't help. She had to go back to eating meat just to feel healthy again.
As a parent you have heard about these things and do of course worry that, if your child decides to become vegetarian, their health might suffer. Their body is still developing after all. So what do you do? Would you force your child/teenager to eat meat or would you let them go ahead although you might know that their health could be in danger?
This is a tricky one for all the reasons you mention and in addition because refusing to eat meat can be one of the first warning signs of anorexic / bulemic tendencies. I write that as someone who's god-daughter had those problems and on doing some research I discovered this (it's to do with the extra physical sensations, effort, and realities that go hand in hand with chewing meat, apparently). I don't have the answer - but will certainly not be encouraging or facilitating veggie diets in any of my children in the future as a result.
ReplyDeleteOoh this is something I can talk and talk about. A healthy balanced vegetarian diet has all the nutrients you need to be healthy, between me and my hubby we have 30 years experience of being veggie and are both happy and healthy. We are raising both our kids as veggie aswell until they are old enough to decide for themselves whether they want to eat meat or not. I'm quite happy that Zara is getting all the nutrients (including protein and iron) that she needs and hopefully she will continue to live meat free once she is old enough to decide. Even if she does decide to be a meat eater she will have to accept that all meals cooked in our house will always be veggie ones :)
ReplyDeleteYes, the danger of it turning into anorexic or bulemic behaviour also worries me. Of course, not everyone going meat-free might be in danger of developing an eating disorder (I guess on reality it's a ridiculously small number) but arguments such as 'I don't like the feeling of meat in my throat' make me wonder. To me meat doesn't feel any different than for instance quorn...
ReplyDeleteI was a fat vegetarian. I dare dairy products far to much and well cheese need I say more. But I also know ta if my children want to give up meet then ha is ok and we will do so as a family and talk about nutrition and make rue that we all understand
ReplyDeleteOh I'm also a massive cheese lover. My health will thank me one day (NOT) but back to the actual topic: Can I ask why you went veggie and why you've gone back to meat?
ReplyDeleteI find the idea that a vegetarian diet automatically carries health risks to be a very strange one! I gave up meat and fish aged 11 (I´m 29 now) and I´ve never suffered any health problems - in fact I´d say that I get colds etc less than most people I know. The nutrient that you mentioned is deficient in a vegetarian diet might be B12, but as this is found in eggs and dairy its really more of a problem in vegan diets (and easily solved with a supplement). Iron deficiency isn´t a problem if you eat plenty of dark green veggies, beans, nuts, cereals. I have vegetarian cousins and a few vegetarian friends - i know of no one whose health has suffered. When I stopped eating meat (for ethical reasons) my mum was very supportive, probably because she saw that my cousins were perfectly healthy.
ReplyDeleteI couldn't do without meat because I love a fillet steak and a succulent chicken breast. I'm a sheep farmer and would be pretty mortified if people stopped eating lamb. But we all have our views about vegetarianism and I don't know enough about the complexities to comment. I think red meat is good for you in some cases, though if we listened to the so-called experts we probably wouldn't eat anything at all.
ReplyDeleteCJ xx
You are so right, I just remember the whole acrylamide discussion a couple of years. You thought death might hit you when eating a slice of toast in the morning. It was ridiculous and I don't want to waste my time worrying so I'm eating what I like. After all, I only live once xx
ReplyDeleteI've been vegetarian all my life, and so have my parents, so I never decided to give up meat - I just never had it. I've always been completely healthy, in fact I think I'm healthier than a lot of my friends because as we're trying to avoid processed foods due to an allergy my stepdad has, I mostly eat vegetables and fruit and lots of salads in the summer. The idea that becoming vegetarian automatically makes you unhealthy is a little narrow. There are definitely unhealthy ways to be vegetarian; I had a friend at school who was vegetarian but hated vegetables and cheese and basically just ate bread and chocolate. That isn't healthy! But equally there are ways to be an unhealthy meat eater. I would suggest that a teenager who has decided to give up meat might be more concious of what they are eating than most, so it would be a great opportunity to encourage a discussion about nutrition and health. It doesn't mean that you have to buy loads of specialist foods either; meat-replacement proteins are nice but not the only option.
ReplyDeleteI understand the arguments, although I look at the lion who is happy to kill to eat so see no reason why we shouldn't kill to eat, as long as the animal isn't endangered (very against killing animals for their fur etc). But each to their own. I love my meat and couldn't live without my Mighty Meaty Domino's Pizza or my Chicken Stir Fry!
ReplyDeleteHowever my mom is not able to eat red meat. This isn't a "I don't like the taste" or "killing animals is wrong" reason at all. It makes her very ill and took her months for her and her doctor to find out it was red meat that was doing it. She still enjoys fish and chicken so I guess that doesn't really make her a vegetarian?
Maybe a part-time veggie? Although I guess proper vegetarians would have something to say against that ;)
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with you. Before every change in your diet, you should seek as much information as possible to be able to make a healthy and informed decision.
ReplyDeleteIf it came across like that, I am sorry. By no means did I want to say that a vegetarian diet automatically carries health risks. I just described the experience my friend made and based my question on that. I know that many many vegetarians live just as healthy (maybe healthier, I don't have any health statistics to quote) as meat eaters.
ReplyDeleteits most probably a phase, I am a very fussy eater, also have been, also ways will be.. i'm only 16 but then things will happen which make you realise that you need to eat differently.. and i'm better than i was a few years back.
ReplyDeleteI was vegetarian for quite some time and vegan for part of that, starting in my teens. My mother wasn't happy about it, mainly because it made things more complicated at the dinner table. Her way of dealing with that was making the rule that if I was going to eat vegetarian, I'd have to cook for myself. That had the advantage of making me look properly into vegetarian food and how to prepare it. Trying to force the issue with a teen (and some kids) will not work. I think it's far better to discuss it with them and make some kind of deal with them that if they educate themselves about the veggie lifestyle and pursue it in a healthy way then you will support them by buying the things that go with it.
ReplyDeleteHi there. . it's kinda a reversed situation with me. . am having a hard time encouraging my kids to eat vegetables and likewise they like nothing but fried chicken. . am so damned worried about their lack of essential nutrients. . .on the other hand I really don't wanna impose my will to them with regards to eating habit. . any suggestions . Leon www.yourchildyourpride.com
ReplyDeleteOoh this is something I can talk and talk about. A healthy balanced vegetarian diet has all the nutrients you need to be healthy, between me and my hubby we have 30 years experience of being veggie and are both happy and healthy. We are raising both our kids as veggie aswell until they are old enough to decide for themselves whether they want to eat meat or not. I'm quite happy that Zara is getting all the nutrients (including protein and iron) that she needs and hopefully she will continue to live meat free once she is old enough to decide. Even if she does decide to be a meat eater she will have to accept that all meals cooked in our house will always be veggie ones :)
ReplyDeleteI guess it's more difficult with the girls. I have a teenage boy and I insist he eats well. In our case- no junk food, supervised intake of sweets, making sure he eats lots of fish and vegetables. Whenever he says "I don't want" I just say that I don't care and while he is living with us- I am responsible for him and his health. He can do whatever he desires when he lives on his own.
ReplyDelete